Texts of the Day is now blocked at my job (probably a good thing) so we'll see how many I put up a day as I don't want to type that much since iPhone's can't copy and paste:- (850) Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
- (860) Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
- (850) TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas. (407) i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
- (304) I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
- (443) my mom's boyfriend is over for the first time. he's already telling me and the little sister how he's so comfortable around us that he'd easily change into his bathing suit in the middle of the kitchen. i nonchalantly told his french ass that we don't roll like that in america, carefully pronouncing "a-mer-i-ca" so he could understand.
- (516) what, no i told him that it wasnt necessary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
- (616) Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
- (814) listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
- (304) My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary" ...greatest adj ever applied to my dick.
- (845) don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter.
[TFLN]
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