Lazy Friday = Links

Well Here Goes Work For Friday

NBA's 60 Greatest Playoff moments. I didn't make it or watch them all yet so don't get mad at me if you disagree with it.

This Never Gets Old

This has to be the most realistic depiction ever:

Snakes On A Plane (based on a true story)

Australia. Snakes. Plane. Escape.

This happened for real but no one died and Sammy Jackson wasn't there.



[Yahoooooooooo]

What Would Jesus Buy?-Not This

Last week I remembered I had 4 movies from Netflix sitting on my dresser and decided to return them after about a month of sitting there. The thing is I didn't remember to update my Queue so instead of getting the Shield like I wanted I received The Brave One (sucked), Capturing The Friedman's (looks decent), and What Would Jesus Buy?

The cover of What Would Jesus Buy? should say-"Not This Shit." The whole point of Reverend Billy and The Stop Shopping Choir is to stop the Shopocalypse. I can't make that bullshit up. They spend the month before Christmas traveling around the country to Walmart, Starbucks, Mall of America, and other places to try and get people out of their materialistic ways. Now I respect the message they're trying to convey but their methods and antics are annoying. They end up at Walmart headquarters trying to exorcise the giant sign outside. The dramatic ending (and yes I AM ruining it for you) takes place at Disney World where they try to break the ultimate stranglehold on America. It's a dramatic build up as the entire movie has Disney-like fonts when titles or captions are rolled on screen. Reverend Billy gets arrested and a cop/security guard tells him "this isn't private property, they can do whatever they want to you here" which makes you almost beg for a Jack Bauer style torture.

Here's a clip from their visit to Chicago on the WGN news (if you can call it news):

Pretend Princesses

I'll preface this post by saying it's going to resemble The GMG but I had to write it. Also that in no way do I believe I am perfect. On my way to work this morning I took notice of a trend I like to call "Pretend Princesses." Driving up 90 everyday I tend to pay attention to the road in front of me approximately 5% of the time and to the cars around me 100% of the time. I do this because I am bored, some would say looking for women*, and sometimes I'm so into the song I'm singing I need to move my head side to side.

Anyways I'm digressing. Today I noticed it more so than normal the Pretend Princesses. These girls are the ones you see that have the obnoxious fur coat, big hoop/diamond/dangling earrings, make up that I am led to believe dries and forms a traditional ceremonial mask for one tribe or another, AAAAAAAND the kicker-the sticker/license plate frame/mirror hanger that says PRINCESS. I'm all for taking care of yourselves ladies and that your husband/boyfriend should treat you like a queen or princess but the thing that would turn him off immediately is when you start acting like one. Ladies don't like guys that brag all the time and are cocky (different from confident) and guys don't like girls that are stuck up and full of themselves.

So in conclusion ladies be confident but don't call yourself a princess, that's just dumb. Princess Diana's motorcade never had a Princess bumper sticker anywhere on it.

*Some would be me, and if you haven't looked around you on the Chicago area expressways then you don't know what you're missing guys. I'm sure girls will even find it enjoyable.

He Was Quick

Driving is hard, and sometimes you're hard while driving. Apparently the latter is the case here. In some town (does it really matter?) in Norway a man was fined and could face a driving ban as he was caught having sex with his female passenger while doing 123km/h in a 100 km/h zone. Now I can't do the math (and too lazy too google it) but I figure that has to be at least 200 mph.

My favorite part of the story:

"After filming the incident for evidence, they finally pulled the car over."

I am sure that it had to be filmed. Also the officer's name was Tor Stein Hagen which sounds like the cheap version of Copenhagen, which is a cheap version of Skoal, which is a cheap version of cancer but may lead to singing like this:



[CNN]

JCVD > Jack Sparrow

Pirates have seized 2 more ships-a Greek one and a Lebanese one as well. I am guessing Greece and Lebanon do not watch the news or maybe just don't really give a damn. I think it's time to send in the solution once and for all:



[CNN]

Name Change

Because I wanted to.

Killer T-Shirts

I don't wanna crack any jokes as I have to imagine they've all been exhausted so check it out for yourself: Man Sues White Sox (and more) Over T-Shirt Launcher Accident

Originally from NBC

Pirates Don't Understand The Rules

(I struggled to write a good pirate joke without argh in it-I failed)

If you don't live in a cave you heard how the American captain was rescued from pirates. What I found interesting was their reaction to America's "3 headshots for a hostage" take on the standard eye for an eye policy. (Keep in mind that 3 headshots were taken to knock out the pirate captors while on the open seas, rendering this difficult and awesome). The pirates, from Somalia, were outraged that the Navy SEALs killed 3 of their associates.

"The pirates told a Somali journalist that they were angered by the U.S. action, as well as a French raid Friday that killed two pirates and one hostage and freed four hostages.
'We have decided to kill U.S. and French sailors if they happen to be among our future hostages,' said Abdullahi Ahmed, a member of a pirate group based at Harardhere, a coastal town in central Somalia."

This from the same group that negotiated a deal to swap the American captain for one of the pirates that was captured but did not hold up their end of the bargain and instead continued to hold the captain hostage.

Somalians are apparently the kids who always made up their own rules during games so they could win. So parents look for that because your son or daughter may be playing with a future pirate.

[CNN]