Things I'm Shocked By

1. Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock. I know her accent in the Blind Side was bad but not that bad. Definitely not bad enough to fuck a tattoo parlor. I mean when I think trophy girl I thing snake coming out of your vagina.

2. Lady Gaga is being sued by her ex boyfriend. I don't care what she's being sued for (whose dick is bigger?) but I'm shocked that she has an ex boyfriend and more so that he's willing to admit it in a court of law. I'd pay her to keep that quiet.

3. Tiger Woods is still news. He's not still having sex is he? He's playing in the Master, big deal. What shocks me is that people still think he's a sex addict. The man used what he had to get more of what he wanted. He's not addicted, he was resourceful. There.

I Can't Wait. . .

. . .to have a child so I can neglect it like I do this blog. So what has been going on since I last updated? Life, and I'm sorry for anyone that is mad at me for that. A few things:

• I live at home with my fiance now so I believe the posts about my father will be back and better (and it's not a rip off of ShitMyDadSays, I was doing it before that in a different way)
• Don't judge me for anything I said above. I'm unemployed and live with my parents.
• I will not be doing the Texts of The Day from Texts from Last Night anymore. I feel that they all are just jokes that aren't natural anymore. Instead I'll be focusing on more serious stuff, like healthcare reform, politics, and naturally this.
• Also basketball is back on and it's NBC thursday night so this is getting cut short.

But here's a nice parting gift for everyone: