Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Paula Abdul is sympathetic if you suck, just not if you're blind

So I occasionally watch American Idol and tonight was one of those nights. I pretty much like everyone (except the guy where they've milked his wife dying way too much) and I am in love with the blond with the tattoo on her arm. She's classy in a way that I'd bring her home to meet my parents-if it's below 30 degrees (so she can cover her arms, get it?).

Anyways tonight was Country night and a lot of people screwed up a lot of classic songs. Example being the weird emo's version of Ring of Fire. You can YouTube it yourself as I don't even want to hear it again. I digress though: Scott MacIntyre is one of the top 11 contestants and completely unrelated is blind, well unrelated until tonight. In addition to having a pretty good voice he can also play the piano. Paula Abdul wasn't having a decent performance tonight though. Normally a contestant can go onstage, take a metaphorical shit, and Paula along with the braindead audience will cheer like Jordan came out of retirement (the first time). Tonight Scott put on a good performance and Paula said he was using the piano as a crutch (at least not a cane). Then Simon, who in my opinion is the only smart judge, came to his defense and said many great musicians have been behind a piano and used Billy Joel and Elton John as an example. Paula then sprang into action and said Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles in a display of opposition to her normal stuttering and mumbling 100 percent of the time. Now it could have been innocent but I think she's had that in her pocket all season. Anyways I can only hope Simon one day just up and roofies her 10 times over so she can officially be knocked out cold.

Enjoy the hardest working man having a mental lapse as well: