Obama Got A Burger? Holy Shit!

("Joe I'm fucking starving, let's GO!")

Why is this news? Obama and Biden went out to get hamburgers. . . . Ya, this is not news unless you're The Onion. I mean this is not drama:

"The two leaders went right up to the counter where the meat was being grilled and ordered.
Each fetched cash from his pocket and paid, and then the pair stood like the rest and waited for their number to be called before going to a table."

The Suntimes found this newsworthy? They didn't mention the part where the two men then were hand-fed by supermodels and then spit on minorities afterwards.

[Suntimes]

Rock God? I Think Not

Some seasons of American Idol (read: 2) I watch, most I don't. This is one of them that I do not watch. Last night Adam Lambert covered a Led Zeppelin song and was told he was a "Rock God" by not-Paula Abdul and basically praised by every judge. I'll admit it was good and the guy can sing but, American Idol, fuck you.

I think you're disrespecting the legends of Rock and Roll by saying that, including Led Zeppelin and Slash (who was there as a mentor....?). He has talent but he is not "Rock God." Sorry. That's like saying Zac Efron or Vin Diesel are acting icons that others aspire to be like. Full video below, cut to the 3:00min mark for the judges sucking him off.

Father Time

Story about my Father again. Not happy about this one.

So the jean jacket junkie was off last night which is pretty much like walking through a mine field with a mine sweeper on low batteries-you may get lucky and make it but most likely shit's gonna blow up. This being said we get through a relatively peaceful night of dinner and Operation Repo (another family bonding show as is this) without a hitch. . . . Until a few hours later when I walk past the computer room and my dad says to me:

"Look at these people I went to school with on Facebook."

I somehow knew this day would come when my parents would catch up with technology but I avoided confronting it. I really hoped it wouldn't actually because I still don't know how to react. This might be appropriate.

Be prepared to see these things happen now that my Father is on Book:

1. People start seeing Brendan Fraser movies
2. Britney Spears wins a lifetime achievement award and mother of the year
3. Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes president after the constitution is amended
4. Jesus comes down to earth to catch a football game but returns immediately after the Lions lose even with his help
5. People watch Nascar
6. Your mother loves you
7. Flo Rida, Akon, and Lady GaGa are tapped to revamp the National Anthem
8. I leave book......maybe

TFLN Texts of The Day

Texts of The Day:

1. (314): Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
2. (310): she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.(1-310): ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
3. (318): i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
4. (612): that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
5. (803): I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you

Chicago Cop Impersonator Back

The 14 year old Chicago kid that impersonated a cop for an entire shift recently turned 15. For his birthday he decided he wanted a car, but why pay?

"The Chicago boy was charged with stealing a used Lexus from a dealer Friday by pretending he was in the market to buy a car."

After driving around for a few hours a deputy superintendent and another officer saw him driving erratically and gave chase until he crashed into a light pole. After this he took off on foot and even grabbed a stroller to blend into the crowd at one point.

Long story short he was caught but this kid is pretty ballsy. And come on, not all cop impersonators are bad:

[Tribune]