Detroit: City of Great Traditions Like. . . .Arson

This halloween as most cities in America prepare for kids walking the streets begging for candy, Detroit has bigger things to worry about. Mainly arson.

"At its peak in 1984, 810 fires were reported in Detroit from Oct. 29 to 31,
fueled by, among other things, Devil's Night's growing notoriety and the
city's large number of abandoned buildings."

Apparently foreclosed homes and abandoned buildings can't pass out candy so fuck
em, let's burn em down.

Why not Ford Field why you're at it?

[Chicago Sun Times]

Phillies Win The World Series but Philadelphia Still Sucks

The only thing good from Philadelphia is It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Period.

Wassup Update

The Wassuuuuuuup guys are back. I've included the original video and then the new one. Good stuff.

Original:


2008:

Dwight Schrute Tribute

Dwight wants you to vote:


Great Dwight Tribute:

Worst Marketing Ever

Take Viagra and you'll cheat. Or something like that. Some study or something looked into the increase in infidelity. I'm sure this was a multi-million dollar study too, not like the country has bigger problems.

I hate Viagra commercials:


[Chicago Sun Times]

Fun with Fred

Fun with Fred is gonna be a monthly, weekly, or daily post with experiences with my father Fred. Those of you who know him know that fun is being used very loosely, or pretty much inappropriately.

So my father is currently on vacation and since I live at home (winner) I get to see him even more. As he normally works the afternoon shift each day he would be asleep as I leave for work in the morning. Me being the nice son I am I try to leave quietly so as not to wake him. Not the case with Fred.

Day 1 of his vacation (my hell) I'm woken up at 5am, over 2 hours before I normally do, to the sound of boxes being thrown, slammed, and for all I know being shot at. When I finally get up and rise to go to work I confront him about this and he informed me that I should have been up anyways. When I asked why he said because that's what people do. Knowing I was fighting a losing battle I let it go and showered for work. On my way out the door wouldn't you know it he was asleep. It took all I had not to throw boxes or yell, because you know, that's what people do.

Detroit Sucks on So Many Levels

This isn't really new news but I don't know if everybody knows about it so here ya go. Former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is due in court today to receive his 120 day sentence for obstruction of justice in regards to lying about an affair with his chief of staff.

"The pair used their city pagers to arrange trysts, share sexually explicit
desires and praise each other's prowess between the sheets.

More messages were released last week in Beatty's criminal case, further embarrassing the pair and revealing that Kilpatrick, married with three children, likely had other paramours."

I really have nothing to say here other than Detroit sucks.

[Chicago Sun Times]

My Dad Can Kick Your Dad's Ass. . .and a Mountain Lion's

David McClelland is just a normal Carson City resident who likes to watch TV while his son rides his motor bike. He'll be god damned if some punk ass mountain lion tries to fuck up his leisure life. David claims that as his son came home on his bike he saw the 150 pound lion looking to attack so he ran outside and got in between the lion and his son. As the lion growled and snarled, David basically decided that instead of run from this little house cat he would charge it and get a few scratches and a concussion while it backed away from him. Mountain lions are bitches.

I only hope I can be this awesome when I'm a little older. . . . .without having to prove it of course.

[CNN]

Your Monday Morning Fuck It

Monday Morning Fuck It showcases things that happened over the weekend that you may have missed and frankly don't care about.


1) Amy Winehouse hospitalized for lung problems (again) which doctors say are just precautionary, her father says is from cigarettes and crack cocaine, and Ms. Winehouse says is from a casual Friday night.

[People]


2) The Phils have took 3-1 lead in the World Series but since no one likes Philadelphia, Tampa is about as cool as all those "Rayhawks", and the Bears didn't play this week-fuck it.

[ESPN]


3) Palin is going rogue. Unfortunately it's not the fun "crazy, half dressed, slurred speech while evading cops" rogue. It's the "I have my own agenda, diva" rogue. Damn


[CNN]

4) Amy Poehler gave birth to a baby boy Saturday (father is Will Arnett). All is well and Amy said that although baby has only been on this earth only a few days he is already funnier than her SNL Weekend Update co-anchor Seth Meyers.

[People]

5) Last and certainly least, High School Musical 3 opened at number 1 with $42 million dollars. Apparently children aren't affected by Wall Street. My only hope is that in about 10-15 years we don't see NBA superstars singing and dancing mid game- unless of course it's the Knicks which might actually help the team.

[FOX News]