TFLN Texts of The Day

Texts of the day:

1. (403): you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
2. (719): then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
3. (918): The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
4. (815): Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
5. (323): Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?(1-323): We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?(323): Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
6. (416): I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.(1-416): u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
7. (732): my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
8. (858): I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
9. (909): why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
10. (978): my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night

[TFLN]

She Should Get The Death Penalty

A 67 year old woman in New York poured boiling water on her sleeping husband's genitals that led to 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 30% of his body. She did this because she found out that her 67 year old husband of 20 years was having an affair. First off, congrats that you're still healthy to have sex at 67, and secondly fuck her. That's just so painful. I hated her when I read the link.

[WPIX]

Study: Tanning Beds are Bad For You. . .

A new study shows that tanning beds are bad for you. . .no shit. This was one of those inventions that tried to improve on an effect from one of God's creations, except it didn't work and is stupid. Nothing worse than a girl with leathery skin that may glow in the dark. Dumb.

[Tribune]

Obama Should Have Kept His Mouth Shut, Twice

I don't often write stuff that is supposed to be smart but I guess I'll suppress my comedic thoughts for a bit.

If you haven't heard of the story (you live in a cave) here's a quick run down: A prominent professor returns home with his driver, both men are African American, and has problems getting into his house. After trying several times to get in the front and back door the professor and his driver shoulder their way through the door. A neighbor or passerby witnesses all this and calls the police to report a possible break in. When the white police officer arrives to investigate he has words with the professor and ultimately ends up arresting him.

The exchange between the two is disputed with the officer saying the professor was uncooperative while the professor says he was. That is all "he said, she said" at this point. Aside from that President Obama came out and said that the police department "acted stupidly" and admitted he may be biased as the professor is a friend of his.

In my opinion Obama acted stupidly for making a biased opinion, especially when he was fully unaware of the facts. Mary Mitchell of the SunTimes, who I rarely agree with and matter of factly think 99% of her articles are complete trash, wrote two articles that I mostly agree with (article 1 here and article 2 here). Once again I said mostly agree so don't read into it too much. The key point in both her articles though that I 100% agree with is that she says both sides overreacted. That's what this whole event is including the President, who, like I said should have kept his mouth shut.

Ya, Sorry I Tend To Try and Work Sometimes

Sorry for the absensce but I'm trying to work to keep my job in this economy, crazy I know. In the mean time take this as a token of my appreciation:



Old but still funny.