TFLN Texts of The Day

Texts of The Day:

1. (314): Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
2. (310): she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.(1-310): ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
3. (318): i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
4. (612): that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
5. (803): I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you