TFLN Texts of The Day

Texts of the Day:

1. (406): my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
2. (803): My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
3. (410): He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
4. (203): How did you manage that?(860): Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis(203): lol... jersey girls rock
5. (636): dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you(1-636): when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
6. (917): this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
7. (907): I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
8. (312): She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
9. (508): I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
10. (516): It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.

[TFLN]