Dating, or Something Like It

Cnn.com has a "relationship" with thefrisky.com to provide dating advice. Today they ran an article interpreting 8 Dating One Liners. My take and there literal take below:

• I Don't Want to Ruin Our Friendship

Frisky: Translated: The thought of kissing you fills me with a mix of nausea, terror, revulsion and fear. Please don't try again. No, really.

Bet You Won't: I agree with them pretty much on this except it can happen where two people are part of a large group and really don't want to mess up the dynamic. I guess if you really wanted the person it'd be worth it though.

• I love you, but I'm not in love with you.

Frisky: Translated: Straight, gay, man, woman, it doesn't matter: this is universal code for "I am cheating on you."

Bet You Won't: I've never been on the giving or receiving end of that line but I believe their take 60% of the time, works all the time.

• I'm friends with all my exes.

Frisky: Translated: I need the ego boost that can only come from surrounding myself with people I've seen naked.

Bet You Won't: While funny, and maybe true occasionally, I call bullshit. Some people are just nice (read:keeping their options open).

• I hate all my exes.

Frisky: Translated: The court-mandated anger management course I was forced to take didn't work and I will probably scare the hell out of you at some point.

Bet You Won't: Ya this one's dead on.....sorry.

• All of my exes were psychos.

Frisky: Translated: You will nod sympathetically the first five times I tell you this, but you'll soon discover that I have a knack for driving people crazy.

Bet You Won't: This one is hit or miss. Most likely they're right BUT just as girls "like bad boys" some guys have a penchant for finding girls you're afraid to sleep next to for fear of being stabbed.

• Are you really going to wear that?

Frisky: Translated: What some might wrongly label passive-aggressive, I call being tactful. You can look forward to raised eyebrows, indecipherable muttered judgments, and gasps of disbelief, shock or horror, but on the upside, I will never ever insult you to your face.

Bet You Won't: You date a guy/girl because you like them and respect their opinions. This translation was a little dramatic. Deal with it.

• I'm so nice; I'm almost too nice.

Frisky: Translated: I will never slap you, cheat on you, or steal money out of your wallet, and I will take great pleasure in reminding you of this whenever you get uppity.

Bet You Won't: READ AS: I am a cocky: douche, bitch, asshole, or (fill in your own) ____________.

• My mom and I are besties!

Frisky: Translated: If you're the uptight type, holiday dinners with my family might be a little uncomfortable because I tell her everything about our sex life.

Bet You Won't: No one talks like that so stop dating 9 year olds.

[CNN]