TFLN Texts of The Day

I'll add a few more today since, well, I just want to:

1. (714): First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
2. (519): dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
3. (614): Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
4. (308): I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
5. (818): Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...(714): Didn't you just get a DUI last week?(818): Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
6. (405): Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
7. (207): I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
8. (631): If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
9. (301): Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?(443): We using my standards or yours?
10. (646): If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.

[TFLN.com]