Someone's About To Cash In......Maybe

Michael Jordan is reportedly expecting a baby with his new girlfriend Yvette Prieto. I imagine her reaction was something like this:

TFLN Texts of The Day

Texts of the Day:

1. (402): I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
2. (323): Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
3. (619): just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
4. (812): Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
5. (703): Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor

Father Time

The jean jacket junkie is on vacation for a month starting today. I expect this portion of the blog to increase drastically and hatefully. You've been warned.

F These People

People that purposely take fertility drugs to have a million kids at once piss me off. Octomom is a whole different rant that I don't wanna get into right now. The show Jon & Kate plus 8 is the topic at hand though. These two geniuses decided they would pop out an entire basketball team at once just for fun and now they're having marital problems.

I don't feel bad at all for either of them (although she is pretty hot). They give birth to a small army on purpose and then complain how hard it is and end up with a reality show on top of it. I would almost say they're smart up until this all happens. Who's gonna wanna date either of them now? Nobody. I can't imagine any man or woman dying to come over when either has custody for the weekend. That would be soooo much fun. The only idiot I can see jumping at the chance is this genius.

Either way I'm sure one of the reasons he cheated (first) was something along the lines of this (minus the dog):

Mess at Lohan's House is Daily Ski Trip

Police reportedly got a call of a burglar alarm at Lindsay Lohan's house and at first look they thought it was an actual burglary. Apparently it's the normal condition of the house though. I imagine it looked something like this video below if you replace Lebron's face with hers and turn the sound down.



In other news this is the best acting Kenan Thompson has ever done.

[People]