TFLN Texts of The Day

Texts of the Day:

1. (310): I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
2. (609): ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
3. (214): I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...(1-214): Mike i'm at church right now...
4. (520): Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
5. (805): bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
6. (312): dude, your ex-bf is on match.com(847): details on that.(312): well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
7. (404): Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.(310): So you didn't like Bolt?
8. (484): I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue(484): I'm in love
9. (773): I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
10. (203): I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other(413): and it's going to stay that way

[TFLN]