Women Don't Read This

Women in Kenya are imposing (or proposing, I only skimmed) a week long sex ban for political reform. The women, in an effort to achieve political reform and have their voices heard, say that "Major decisions are made during pillow talk." My favorite quotes are actually pleas from desperate husbands:

" 'This will accomplish nothing other than embarrass us,' said Martin Kamau a resident of Nakuru, a major city northwest of the capital. 'We are being punished, and yet we are not the ones causing the problems.'
Kamau plans to plead his case with his wife. 'Seven days is just too much,' he said."

One man did say he can wait a year, I'm sure that's by choice.

[CNN]

VP-Stay The Fuck Home

Well not really. Biden said to stay off planes and public transportation at the moment to combat the spread of swine flu further. I'm sure the airlines and public transportation are thrilled. Here's the video:

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100th Post= Story About My Dad

100th post deserves some real comedy. Some of the best comedy is in true life, i.e. my father. To preface this story there's a few things you need to know about him:

1. While not having invented the original seven swear words, he sure loves to use them, plus some, while inventing his own.
2. Jeans. The man loves them. Jackets, shorts, and pants. Can't get enough of it.
3. He is never wrong, ever. It's like a bad Chuck Norris fact. I have proven the man wrong with factual evidence before and he has won the arguments by resorting to rule 1.
4. He does not watch sports more than maybe 10 times a year (and that's pushing it). This said he says he likes the Chicago teams but always doubts them. Furthermore he roots for the Sox just to piss me and my brother off. That said.....
5. Watching a game with my dad is like trying to take a hot girl home while your buddy constantly points out her flaws and every thing that can possibly go wrong with her, but he's "rooting for you."

These are just a few things about my father that make him unique and by NO means are these bad, he's a great man, he's just eccentric.

On to the story now. Last night we were both watching the Bulls game. He had come in to watch it completely at the beginning of the fourth quarter when the Bulls were up. As the fourth quarter dwindled down and the Bulls had a double digit lead my Dad looks at me and says, "They're gonna lose it." This is the equivalent of a curse. He's done this before in baseball, football, and basketball. The man knows barely anything about sports but makes statements that somehow always come true. I look at him and shake my head in disbelief. The man hates Chicago sports.

Fast forward to the end of regulation and he has this smug look on his face knowing he is about to be right. Skip through Paul Pierce hitting everything, Brad Miller almost crying, and the Bulls lose. I look over and he's smiling and laughing as if he was a kid caught in a lie.

The Bulls lost to ruin my night and I end it by hearing my father laughingly tell me, "Told ya so." FML

Rajon Rondo Just Doesn't Like Miller's Face

(Brad Miller is the Headless Horseman)

We can't fault Rondo for his blatant flagrant of Brad Miller last night (when the ball is about to roll off your outstretched fingertips your head is not close enough to constitute a slap as "going for the ball"). It was actually Miller's fault. Just watch the video below, I mean Rondo clearly suffers the same disease as Rob Riggle. (That or he was trying to get Miller his Halloween costume early)

Merry F'in Christmas

This is just amazing and I'm speechless.

Texts From Last Night