Jobs would be more fun if they were like hip-hop remixes. . .

So I've been listening to the Lonely Island's "Incredibad" the last few weeks and it's amazingly hilarious. The song "Old Saloon" made me realize an interesting point-more jobs should be like hip hop remixes (the song is a parody of remixes if you're too lazy to listen). So for entertainment purposes I've included the song below and a few jobs that would be a little more interesting this way.

Job #1: Barack Obama's Speech Writer
Just think while Barack may be talking about the economy I wanna know who wrote the speech, probably every 5 minutes. And we have to know if it's new as well. So every 3 minutes or so I wanna hear "New Shit" followed by his speech writer randomly yelling out his name and something stupid like "the freshest, sickest, stupidest, dopest, greatest, and -estest speech writer you know."

Job #2: Surgeon or Doctor
I think open heart surgeons would be great at this. I mean who wants to sit in a operating room for hours without hearing "Dr. Patel!" screamed randomly 57 times. It'd be great when you have multiple doctors in too from different departments. As I'm going under I wanna hear about the "Cardiac Crew" or the "Anesthesiology Crew." I don't that's just me.

Job #3: Lawyer, Athlete, and Cop
Pretty much already happens

Job #4: Store Cashier
Why not? I wanna get rung up at Target or Jewel or something and hear someone yell out "Steve Motherfucker" right in the middle of announcing my total. It'll make me feel better about spending money. That or they could yell out random things I'm buying like "Loofah" "Pizza Rolls Bitch" or "this that Egyptian cotton bed sheet shit." (Maybe I buy random shit, judge me)

Job #5: Librarian
Too easy but entertaining none the less

Job #6: Pharmacist
I think every prescription should be yelled out (unless you're old or involuntarily injured). While comical it would also show you who your neighbor's are.

Job #7: Waiter or Waitress (Chef pretty much does it to an extent)
I wanna be entertained if I'm out to eat and since Benihana's has pretty much cornered the exciting chef stuff I think it's up to the waiter. And I don't want an Ed Debevic's experience where I'm degraded in a G-Rated Disney manner. I wanna know my entree is new and fresh and I think the whole restaurant should too. Also I wanna know what the annoying couple who brought their screaming kid to a fancy restaurant is eating so I can yell at them to shove their exotic Flamingo Fillet or sauteed Sea Horse down their kid's throat. I imagine rich pompous people that don't discipline their kids right (meaning beat) eat shit like that.

Is this too much to ask in life?

American Idol or Death?

As I was watching American Idol (yes I watch it at times) the first thing I hear is "sing for their lives." Apparently you no longer go home-you die.

Highlight so far is Simon pining for the hot girl over the one who can sing.

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Oprah Almost Gave Away Free Cars To The Senate

So Blagojevich went on TV yesterday to defend himself amidst his impeachment hearings-not at the actual hearing where he had no one present. Aside from being a walking joke and his hair being tamed and house broken, he let everyone know that Oprah was an option for the previously vacant Illinois senate seat. With her obvious qualifications I wish it would have happened for this sole reason:


It could happen.

There's a New President?

I do not know how much shit can possibly go on for the inauguration but apparently not enough. Don't get me wrong, I like Obama but I didn't know Mardi Gras moved to D.C.

Either way we can't all be excited as this guy:


Truthfully I muted him after the first ten seconds so don't fault me for anything he says based on his apparent coke use and anger over resembling the guy from Super Size Me.

I'm back, kinda. School gets in the way of updating so I apologize.