Things I'm Shocked By

1. Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock. I know her accent in the Blind Side was bad but not that bad. Definitely not bad enough to fuck a tattoo parlor. I mean when I think trophy girl I thing snake coming out of your vagina.

2. Lady Gaga is being sued by her ex boyfriend. I don't care what she's being sued for (whose dick is bigger?) but I'm shocked that she has an ex boyfriend and more so that he's willing to admit it in a court of law. I'd pay her to keep that quiet.

3. Tiger Woods is still news. He's not still having sex is he? He's playing in the Master, big deal. What shocks me is that people still think he's a sex addict. The man used what he had to get more of what he wanted. He's not addicted, he was resourceful. There.

I Can't Wait. . .

. . .to have a child so I can neglect it like I do this blog. So what has been going on since I last updated? Life, and I'm sorry for anyone that is mad at me for that. A few things:

• I live at home with my fiance now so I believe the posts about my father will be back and better (and it's not a rip off of ShitMyDadSays, I was doing it before that in a different way)
• Don't judge me for anything I said above. I'm unemployed and live with my parents.
• I will not be doing the Texts of The Day from Texts from Last Night anymore. I feel that they all are just jokes that aren't natural anymore. Instead I'll be focusing on more serious stuff, like healthcare reform, politics, and naturally this.
• Also basketball is back on and it's NBC thursday night so this is getting cut short.

But here's a nice parting gift for everyone:

TFLN Texts of The Day

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Hell Yeah

This article can probably be filed under "MEN." And if there was a gun-punctuation mark it would be in there too. This is a picture of the new A-Team movie's four leading actors: Bradley Cooper (The Hangover) as Face, Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson (UFC Fighter) as B.A. Baracus, Sharlto Copley (District 9) as Murdock, and Liam Neeson (Taken & Batman Begins) as Hannibal. Also not picture is Jessica Biel which is an extra bonus for men. I assume this movie is going to take the route of Transformers 2, which is just to blow shit up and have a sexy chick come in the picture in random places. Fine by me.

This Isn't It, By A Long Shot

(I'd watch a Bubbles movie)

Michael Jackson's final film/concert/goodbye/drainage of money comes out this Wednesday and people can not wait(read here-excuse the grammar, iZ oNlY dA EnTeRnEtT). I for one am not one of those people thank god. I'm gonna get ripped for this but I could really care less to see this movie at all. Maybe when it is on VH1 in a few months I'll give it a look but it still won't be as good as The Jacksons Movie (full video here if you haven't seen it).

People are acting as if this is his farewell message to his fans but it is not. If he knew he was going to die (re: overdose) and recorded a movie saying goodbye and chronicling his last days then it would be completely different. But we can play the if game all day long and this movie still won't be anything other than an attempt to make money off a dead man. I do not want to watch a glorified "practice session." Many people are saying "But this is his LAST movie." I didn't watch any of his other movies anyways so I could care less.

Now I'm not here to shit on arguably one of the greatest entertainers of all time just stating my opinion. So in between Tool Academy, Rock of Love, Charm School, Behind The Music, Anvil, and all the other VH1 programs that instill family values I'll look for This Is It, then inevitably This Is More of It the sequel.